Today has just been one of those days. I'm still so torn about what to do for the kids and their education. A friend reminded me that now is the time to start filling out applications for the next school year. I think this was a little too much for me today. The school I think would be best for him is nearly 35 miles from my house. If I were commit to that, I could potentially be driving almost three hours a day, five days a week to get him to and from school. Traffic would be unbearable most days! I still have to consider the impact this change would make on the rest of my family. Would I be able to get Dalan to school or pick him up? Would I have to put him in before or after school care? Would we be able to afford that care? Would Brilyn be able to go to the same preschool she is at? I love her teacher and really don't want to take that away from her.
I hate what this move has taken away from us. I know it has given us a lot too and I'm not trying to downplay that. My heart swelled every time I heard Dalan come home and tell me he saw Jayen at school and gave him a hug. I loved having one school to support for all their fundraisers. I loved being able to get to go to one concert or award ceremony and be there for all my kids. This past Veteran's Day we had to choose which school to be at. I HATE that I won't get that here. Or ever now! By the time we get back to Nebraska, Dalan will be in middle school and won't be in the same building as Jayen and Brilyn. My kids will never go to the same school together.
I'm so lost as to what is best for ALL of my family. I've been crying about what I'm currently doing to my kids by keeping them here, and I'm crying at what decisions I will have to make in the very near future.
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