I think we are going to be doing these often. Another seizure this morning and another Diastat. This was the first one I had to do by myself. It was a little more difficult. I didn't ask Dalan to help because I don't want him to see what we have to do to Jayen with the Diastat, but I have told him about it. He knows what we do, but I just don't want him to have that image in his mind. I want him to look at his brother and not see that. I think Jayen knows what is to come now too. He really didn't want me to pull down his pants or put his leg to the side. I cry just thinking about it. I wish there was something else I could do. I have accepted that fact that I have to do it. I know that research says that seizures under 5 minutes are not supposed to cause any brain damagae, so Jayen's seizures lasting 6-7 minutes are very scary. It is worth it to do the medicine. I'm just scared that they are going to be something we are doing frequently.
Jayen's seizures started again in May and we are now in September. This is the longest we have ever been unable to control them. I worry that we aren't on the right path. I worry that we aren't going to stop these now. I worry about his future. I worry about having a normal life, driving, drinking, playing sports. What will his life be like. This will always be a part of him, but how can I help?
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