After baseball treat

We are all still in gloomy moods from dad leaving so a little cheering up was needed. Dalan had a baseball game today so afterwards we headed to Freddy's for some lunch. Nothing makes a sad day better than fried pickles! We can't have daddy here so we need some exciting things in our lives. The weekends are definitely the hardest and loneliest. One weekend down 6 more to go!

Itchy Eyes

This little man can't seem to catch a break. He has been in screaming fits because his eyes are itching him. I don't know what to do. Time to get him in to see the doctor.

Rare Bear

A few months ago we were approached through the International FoxG1 foundation with an opportunity to receive a rare bear.

RARE Science has initiated the RARE Bear program, a grassroots community-driven outreach for kids with rare disease. Community volunteers create one-of-a-kind teddy bears for one-of-a-kind “rare” kids. http://www.rarescience.org/rare-bear-program/

Well today a special package arrived with the cutest little RARE bear inside. Jayen took to the bear right away. I don't know if he realized where it came from or what it meant, but he sure seemed to have a connection to it immediately. The bear is truly as rare as he is!
Thank you RARE Science and your team of volunteer quilters for making my son feel so special!
He may have needed a little extra loving today.

Heartbreaking

Waking up this morning to an empty bed was heartbreaking. Knowing it will be empty for the next 6 weeks was even more heartbreaking. But life doesn't stop and we need to keep moving. The kids went to school as usual, I went to the gym, we went to therapy, drove to baseball practice, etc.
But there was a moment today a smile crossed my face. My friend Katie handed me a little box with the most special gift inside. She gave me a bracelet that had a puzzle piece embellishment on it. She thought of me and our life. Thank you Katie for the glimmer of happiness is this sad day. With friends like you, we can get through this!

Our last day with dad

This day is such a sad day that I don't know if celebration is the right word for it, but we tried to celebrate as much as we could. We knew the inevitable was upon us and tomorrow morning when we wake up a piece of our hearts will be missing. So tonight we spend time together; every second we can squeeze out of this day.

One of the things we love to do together is make sushi. We celebrated and toasted to a good trip for dad and good kids for mom. When we were done we finished the night with some cascarónes. After the Easter fiasco we wanted to try to introduce them to Jayen again in a safe environment. We want to try to help him work through his fears We never shy away from things that scare him. We want to expose him to them and help him understand his feelings. We took them with us on vacation but never found the right time to do them. Well, I guess now was as good of time as any. But this time went just as well as the first time did. Jayen still wanted nothing to do with them. He screamed and cried and threw a fit (and the broom). It wasn't the end of the night we were hoping it would be, but it was a good laugh for the rest of us.

Thankfully Kerrie was able to lighten the mood when she brought over this amazing surprise. She took a picture from our vacation and printed it on acrylic with a texture print. She said that even though Matt wouldn't be close enough to feel us that he could feel this picture of us and feel near. What a thoughtful gift. Thank you Kerrie for being such a great, thoughtful friend!

We love you Matt and will miss you horribly. Be safe! Come home soon!

Vacation Day 4

We woke up this morning rested and ready to spend our last day in San Diego. I really wanted to take the kids to La Jolla cove to see the sea lions. Matt, Dalan and I were here 7 years ago for my cousin's wedding and fell in love with the place. I wasn't sure how Jayen would react to being so close to the animals but I knew it would still be worth the drive. The views were amazing and awe inspiring.

We spent much of our time on the sidewalks above the sea lions. Jayen felt safe with the distance between us, but when dad decided to go down the steps to the shore line and near the sea lions Jayen was not having it. He was not going and was not happy that his dad and siblings were that close. After they came back to safety we walked a little further and found a cove we could walk down the steps to play on the shore. I really wanted to take the kids into the cave, but knew Jayen wouldn't go for it so we stayed near the shore and watched the sea lions swim and play near us.

When I was researching things to do in San Diego I came across the USS Midway museum. I thought it would be something neat to check out. After leaving La Jolla cove we headed straight to the museum. I couldn't believe how big the ship was. I was in awe of all it takes to run a ship like this; the manpower, the equipment.

The kids loved playing with all the equipment and sitting inside the jets. They were having so much fun. When we were on the upper deck we could see out into the harbor. Straight across we could see another Navy ship. Since we knew that Dalan's friends Aidan and Billy's dad were just on a boat that got back today we were curious if this was the one they were just on. We were able to see the number on the ship and sent a message to one of the moms and she confirmed that was the ship they were both on. How cool to not only be on this Navy ship but to also see the ship our friends were just on!

We spent a few hours exploring the ship before it was time to start heading home. I even managed to convince dad to recreate this iconic picture with me. I've always wanted to do that!
We had the most amazing time in San Diego and really don't want to leave. Reality is facing us dead in the face and we know that we will have to give up dad soon. I'm not ready for any of it. Six weeks without my best friend is going to be tough. As tough as it is going to be for me, there is one little boy I am more worried about. Dad is his best friend and I'm not sure how he is going to survive six weeks without him. Pray for all of us please!

Vacation Day 3

Although we don't want to leave the beach, we really wanted to take the kids somewhere special. We didn't know how long dad would give us but we kept trying to convince him to stay one more night. He told his boss he would probably be back on Monday but was wondering if it was ok if he took one more day. We did our best to squeeze everything into our (hopefully not) last day in San Diego.
As we were heading out of town towards our next surprise we quickly realized that we didn't get a flat penny from Oceanside. An online search revealed there is only one place in town to get one and it was two exits back. A quick U-turn and a couple miles off track but we found the visitors center and located the flat penny machine. The volunteers kept asking what we were doing, where we were going, how long we had been here, etc. Matt told them where we were heading and one volunteer grabbed three Shamu key chains, gave them to the kids, and told them to have fun at SeaWorld. So thankful they were too busy trying to show us all the things they wanted to buy that they didn't hear her ruin the surprise.
I noticed a framed picture of the Oceanside peer and was so sad we didn't get a chance to see it. I asked how far away it was and the lady showed me on the map. It was less than a mile away. I know we wanted to get to our surprise, but we are so close. I may have sounded like the kids begging to buy every toy in the center but I REALLY wanted to go. My loving husband gave in and we drove to the peer.

I'm so glad we took the extra time to go. The kids loved seeing the pelican and even had the opportunity to feed him. They were all too scared since we just read them the sign that says he bites. We strolled as a family hand in hand to the end of the peer. We watched surfer in the water try to catch the perfect wave, fishermen casting their poles over the edges, and stopped for an amazing family selfie. As much as I think we could have stayed there for a large portion of the day, we really did have somewhere else we wanted to go. So back in the car!

When we pulled into the parking lot Dalan quickly read the sign and shouted, "SeaWorld! AWESOME!" We all were grinning with excitement.

The day was spent in awe of all the magical creatures. The shrills and giggles when they touched the stingrays, the oohs and ahhhs when the orca and dolphins jumped out of the water, the wonder and excitement in each of their eyes. Jayen's intense attention to the dolphin show was enough words for me to know how much he was enjoying his time at Sea World. As much as people say Disney World is the most magical place I feel in my kids' eyes this would rival that saying. We spent every second we could in the park. We were even able to stay for a Polynesian dance show where we saw a luau type fire dance. The show ended the same time the park was supposed to close. We drug our feet as we made our way toward the exit. We still hadn't fully convinced dad to allow us to stay the night. He was tired but thought we could just drive the 5 hours home. I didn't want this trip to end. I was able to call the lodging office at Marine base Miramar and they had room for us to stay. Matt reluctantly agreed. We stopped by IHOP for something to eat before making our way to the inn for the night. Dad picked up some gifts for each of the kids for them to use to remember him while he is gone. Dalan received a shark tooth necklace, Jayen a stuffed turtle with a baby riding on its back that squeaks, and Brilyn a dolphin tale necklace and bracelet set and they each received a special pen. They were pretty excited to use their new pens to write on the kids meal papers. I've never seen them work together like this before. I can't believe what a trip like this does for their friendship. We need to do this more often. Thanks so much daddy for letting us stay one more night. We don't want this to end and we aren't ready to give you up yet.