Broken Promises

Day two of one absent para and no coverage. I emailed Jayen's case manager again, since she said that was the best way to get ahold of her, and still haven't heard anything. I'm still so disappointed! When no one was available again this morning, I pulled Jayen from the classroom and went to find the principal. She was the one who assured me that they would pull from in campus to make sure there was coverage. When I confronted her, I once again got the attitude that "nothing is of concern. Jayen will be fine! Just drop him off and go!" I pushed the issue and said I couldn't leave him until someone was available to be with him. She then left to see if the para who is scheduled with him later in the day was available to be in the classroom early. I'm really struggling with all of this. If you have promised that someone would be there and that you have back up figured out if they are going to be absent but never come through and provide it, don't you think that would break my trust and upset me. I would have never worried about issues like this in Bellevue. I trusted the staff and felt like Jayen's safety was never a concern. I felt like they were pushing him to reach his fullest potential. I felt like they always wanted Jayen there and wanted what was best for him. I have the opposite of all these feelings with this school. I'm so lost and don't know how to actually make people do what they say they are going to do. Another email to the case manager.

Ms. Miller,

I sent an email yesterday but haven't heard anything in response and the same issue occurred today. I approached Mrs. Tipton today and she tracked down Ms. Kahli to be in the room with Jayen a little early. I'm really struggling with this! I hope I can be open and honest with my communication. I am struggling understanding how I can be assured repeatedly that a schedule has been set and things are in place if someone is absent, but the first day that is put to the test we fail miserably. Yesterday I stayed in the classroom until Ms. Kahli came in and arrived early to pick Jayen up when Ms. Kahli leaves for lunch. I'm told a substitute was called for, but even myself being an educator understands that that doesn't mean anything until someone is physically on property. Even if a substitute is called I don't understand how throwing Jayen in the classroom without support until that person arrives is appropriate. My son does not have a wheelchair or a trachea tube, but I'm sure if he did he would never be left in the classroom without support and hope that someone will answer the district's substitute call. Would you ever send kids to the classroom without a teacher in there and hope that eventually a sub shows up? This is how I feel with Jayen. I understand there are other adults in the classroom but the supervision that is supposed to be there for him isn't and an appropriate solution has not been found. I hope you understand how this breaks my trust in the school again. I feel that Jayen's needs are not being met or considered. 

 

I still haven't heard a response from this email either. Feeling defeated!

Put To The Test

After the last email I was informed that since our meeting went so late they didn't have a chance to talk to the para the next morning about her duties. I can accept that but don't agree with it. If it is of importance you make sure you get to the para before school starts or leave a note for her. I would never have been allowed to let things like this fall through the cracks when I was teaching. I see everyday the things I would and definitely wouldn't do in my classroom.
Well today their schedule was put to the test again. Ms. Miranda was out sick. I am so thankful I am not working right now and am able to put so much time into Jayen and this situation. I was able to stay in the classroom to see if a substitute was available and wait for Ms. Kahli to arrive. Ms. Kahli leaves early for lunch so I told Mrs. Foster that I would be back early to pick Jayen up if no substitute was available. I was fuming on the walk all the way back to the house. I once again emailed our case manager.

Ms. Miller,

I know at our last IEP meeting we discussed options for support in the classroom when someone would be absent. I was assured that support would be there either in the form of a substitute hired through the district or someone would be pulled from the building. I did not witness that today. When Jayen and I arrived in the classroom we did not see Ms. Miranda. We were informed she was absent today and the staff was working on getting a substitute. I stayed in the classroom until the substitute arrived, but no one came. I don't understand what happened to the support that was to be pulled from on campus if a substitute couldn't be located. Ms. Kahli is with him currently but leaves the classroom at 1130 for her lunch break. I will pick Jayen up from school at that time unless I a substitute will be available. 

Thanks

Nicole

I didn't hear a response so I arrived early to pick up Jayen. Hope we can get this figured out for the next time someone is sick. I hope we take this as a learning experience and fix the problems.

Already?

After our meeting last night I was hopeful that things would be put into place. However I was so disappointed when I dropped Jayen off this morning and things were not as I was told they would be. I emailed Jayen's case manager.

Ms. Miller,

Thank you very much for your time and expertise last night. I feel we got a lot accomplished and can't wait to see Jayen thriving in your school. I am excited about the plan that was put in place but highly disappointed that when I dropped Jayen off at school this morning Ms. Miranda wasn't even in the classroom. Mrs. Foster informed me that she was in the office. I understand that there will be hiccups and situations we will have to figure out, but the very next morning the plan was still not put into action. Ms Miranda walked into the classroom the same time as Ms. Kahli. I hope we can figure this out and all work to make this a great learning environment for all the students. 

Thanks

Nicole Hochstein

 

I just don't know what else to do or say. I've been promised repeatedly that the services would be there, but repeatedly disappointed when the follow through never occurs. I'll patiently wait for a response.

Emergency Meeting

After requesting an emergency IEP meeting, I was asked if I could actually meet twice today. The first meeting was at 11:15 with the district early childhood special education coordinator and the other at 4:00 for a full IEP meeting. I was very hesitant to have two meetings. I felt as if they were going to talk me out of the second meeting or take my concerns I present at the first meeting and have time to make excuses or refuse things I'm asking for. I had also invited a representative from Raising Special Kids. She is the local parent training representative who helps parents understand their rights during an IEP meeting.
The first meeting involved Ms. Miller (Jayen's case manager), Mrs. Tipton (the principal) and Ms. Rose (the EC Sped Coordinator). I'm so thankful Matt was able to be with us during his lunch hour. I can't do this without him. I tried explaining that I didn't want to do anything at this meeting. I wanted all of our decisions to be team based decisions. I felt like I was able to voice my concerns but wasn't convinced that an appropriate solution would be reached.
The actual IEP meeting was at 4 so we had all three kids in tow! We met with the parent training representative before the meeting began and talked about some concerns. She was able to look at the IEP ahead of time and point out some questions she had for us to consider. Once again I felt like they listened to my concern and were willing to rectify the situation but follow through is always the problem. A schedule was made and shared with everyone as to who is to be with Jayen when. We also discussed Jayen starting a program called STAR. It's a behavior program supported by a BCBA. It isn't an ABA program but takes some of the same ideas and applies it to the classroom setting. I really hope this is something we can start immediately and hope it helps with classroom structure.

The Last Straw

After everything that happened on Friday, I was very hesitant to allow Jayen to return to school. My plan was to see if today was any better then take action if necessary. I waited in the classroom again until the new para arrived. The unstructured time during the morning really brings out the worst behavior in Jayen and some of his peers. In the twenty minutes I was there I witnessed Jayen take his used paper towel and wipe his friends mouth with it, spill water all over the floor, use 7 paper towels instead of the one that is allowed by the teacher, put small blue toy pieces in his mouth, put multiple pieces in his mouth, sit on a bookshelf but was redirected once then no follow through, sit on bookshelf again, the teacher didn't arrive until 8:56, more pieces on his mouth with no adult near any of the tables, steal toys from friend which an altercation ensued, stole more pieces, hit friend, threw toy at friend, redirected to sit, hit friend on way back to table, 905 the para came in. This behavior is unsafe for Jayen and his friends in the classroom. As I was getting ready to leave and figure out my plan Mrs. Foster asked if the pink trike out front was ours. How did she see it unless she arrived after we did? When is she supposed to be there? Who is in charge of my child before she arrives?
I was absolutely upset when I left and tried to decide what my next action would be. I was awaiting a call from a parent training representative about the Friday incident so I figured I wouldn't take any action until I talked to her. The time came for me to pick Jayen up. Mrs. Foster opens the gate for the parents so while she was outside I asked who Jayen's case manager was. I was taken back when she couldn't answer. Then when asked if she had a copy of his IEP she responded that she hasn't even seen a copy of it yet. WHO is responsible for his educational goals? Who is taking data on these goals? Again flabbergasted and not sure what to do about this. As I was signing Jayen out, one of the paras approached me and said Jayen took a book, raised it above his head, then hit a friend with it. I asked where his one on one was. She paused and looked confused, so I said Jayen is supposed to have a one on one with him. She said, "Well we all help all the kids." When I responded that Jayen is supposed to have his an individual para with him at all times, she said she wasn't aware of that.
WHAT? The lady that is supposed to be with Jayen at all times for the past two days hasn't made you aware nor has the teacher or any supervisor? Who is running this joint?
The straw had to be something I'm not even sure I can bring up in a meeting. When waiting for the para in the morning I heard one of the paras say out loud she forgot to tell another mom the needed more diapers. When that mom came to pick up the kid, I once again overheard a para tell the mom that they were out of diapers so he didn't get changed today.  What the heck? How is that sanitary, healthy, responsible? Is that how well you are taking care of the kids?
After talking to the parent training representative I was a little more level headed. I called for an emergency IEP meeting. If things can't be solved through this meeting then I will have to call for a mediation.
This is weighing so heavy on my heart. I would move mountains for my kids, but don't understand why I have to physically do it for my son.

School Again!

After the email was sent yesterday I only received one reply. The district early childhood special education coordinator responded...

Good afternoon, Mrs. Hochstein,

Thank you for your email. Ms. Tipton and I worked yesterday and have mapped support into the preschool classroom to ensure that we have support for Jayen the entire time he is in the preschool classroom. Additionally, we have developed a coverage plan to ensure the safety of Jayen in the event that a staff member is absent. 

Please know that we too agree that open lines of communication are the sole and only way to operate efficiently. Even though additional staff in the room on 2/11, one of the paras in the preschool classroom was assigned to support Jayen. Additionally, alternate plans have been established in the event of staff absence and moving forward increased para staff is in place for the am session at Sonoran at all times.

Thank you,
Shaar Rose

 

HOWEVER, upon dropping Jayen off today I was not greeted with the warm hand off I had requested. I was informed by the classroom teacher that the para assigned has other duties in the morning and is not able to be in the classroom until 9. So I waited with Jayen until she arrived. But that wasn't until 9:17. The children can be dropped off from 8:40 until the first bell at 8:55 but the gates for the parents to leave the building closes at 8:55 so I have to be out of the room by then. The para did not arrive until almost 25 minutes after I should have left him in her care. During this 25 minutes I watched Jayen struggle and get frustrated putting his backpack on a hook, attempt to wash his hand but instead of putting soap on his hands he attempted to eat it, grab a paper towel to wipe his hand but place in on his face and blow it off instead, then grab blocks off the table and hit a friend on the head. This 25 minutes is very unstructured time. The children are supposed to be sitting at the table free playing while the teacher is preparing the activity for the day. I did leave Jayen and the classroom shortly after the individual support arrived but was invited to come back early for the valentine's activities. When arriving early I could see the para struggling to keep up with Jayen. She seemed very nice but very uninformed about him. When I was signing to him she responded she didn't know he signed. I would sure wish that they would have given her some kind of background/training. Especially is she is going to be playing any role in his team should he have a seizure and need diastat. Jayen is dismissed at 11:45 but the individual support left him at 11:30 so she could take her lunch. Again during a very unstructured time, Jayen is left without the support he needs. I just don't understand why this is so difficult. Where do I go from here? I haven't received any response from the teacher using the class DOJO app she uses for communication and behavior nor through the email I sent yesterday. When asked for a time to meet with her and the paras I was told that I could just talk to her when I pick Jayen up. There has also been no response from the principal or assistant principal. Do I need to call another IEP meeting? Do I just talk to the principal? Do I need to talk to Shara Rose, district rep again? Or do I need to file a complaint?
I don't know what to do or where to go from here! BEYOND FRUSTRATED!

Finally Meeting the Infamous Dr. Jarrar

I was excited to keep Jayen out of school today and even more excited for where we took him. We have researched her and learned as much as we could in the past year about Dr. Jarrar that this meeting was overdue. The hospital was pretty easy to find and get to from our house. There was a little construction going on in the Ambulatory Building, but not too bad. We couldn't wait to meet Dr. Jarrar. Dr. Frost had talked her up and our research showed she was well qualified to take care of our baby!

 

Dr. Jarrar was amazing! She was easy to talk to, had great questions for us, seemed to respond well to Jayen and Brilyn, and was thrilled with the progress Jayen is making. I am excited to have her on our team!

 

Trust

Ms. Miller was able to be with Jayen in the classroom on Tuesday. We were excited for her to get to know him and see how he interacts at school. Today, however, I didn't learn until I came to pick Jayen up from school and got report that he raised a book above his head and hit a friend with it, that Ms. Miller was not in the classroom at all. I immediately went to talk to the principal. She was unavailable so I spoke to the assistant principal. How could this happen just two days after I was assured that he would have support? TWO DAYS!!! I asked that from now on a hand to hand transition was necessary for me to trust that Jayen had the support he requires in the classroom. Towards the end of my conversation with the assistant the principal emerged and walked into the office. When she was told about Ms. Miller's absence she replied, "oh yes, she was out sick today." How did she know about her absence and not mention anything to anyone including the preschool teacher who also expected her to be there for the day. Where are the communication skills here? Why was this not mentioned to anyone? I left in tears and hot enough to melt an iceberg. These people promised to take care of my son. They promised to keep him and his friends safe. I've lost my trust in them.

After cooling off a little and talking to a parent advocate I was able to write this email.

I would first like to thank all of you for your continued help in our transition to Arizona. This has been very hard on our entire family and I'm thankful for all the help we are receiving. We are all waiting for the day Greer Ranch and Sonoran Heights feel like home. I would like to open the lines of communication and strive for a great working relationship between us.

At the IEP meeting on Monday, February 9th, 2015 my husband and I asked about the support Jayen needs in the classroom. As a team, we agreed that the environment Jayen is currently in is unsafe for him without individual support. We were informed that Ms. Miller would be available to be in the classroom with Jayen until further arrangements were made. I was relieved to see Ms. Miller in the classroom on Tuesday and put my trust in the school that Jayen would be safe. However, the very next day I learned that Ms. Miller did not show up in the classroom and Mrs. Foster was unaware of her absence. I was even more shocked to learn that the administration knew of this absence and did not inform me or make arrangements to have this position covered. It is actions like this and lack of communication that create distrust. 

According to Jayen's IEP the support is required. Without this support he is being denied FAPE. Until I can be assured that there is a person designed for him and the confidence that I will be called if this person is unavailable. I may be required to report this action and file a grievance regarding my concern with this denial of FAPE. I want Jayen to be in school. I want to work with all of you, but first and foremost he and the other students in the classroom need to be safe. Trust and communication are most important in a good working relationship, therefore I look forward to hearing from you whether he will be safe attending class on Friday.

 

Thanks

Nicole Hochstein

I hope this helps get the ball rolling. I hope they take me serious. I hope someday I can feel safe leaving Jayen in their care. But for now I will be keeping him home.

Arizona IEP

We had a meeting previously scheduled with the school for today, but I wasn't sure if it was for an actual IEP or just a follow-up. I emailed Marni Schroeder, the school psychologist, and was informed we were doing a full IEP meeting at this time. I'm so thankful Matt was able to come. Today is his first day at work and I needed him with me. I didn't know how much I was going to have to fight for and how much they were going to just copy from the Nebraska IEP.
The meeting was pretty standard until the very end. When everyone thanked us for coming and stood up to walk out, I asked one last question. Where are we in the process of getting Jayen support in the classroom? If we aren't to the hiring process, what can we do in the mean time to make sure he is supported and safe? I'm worried not only about his safety but the other kids in his class as well. After a very long awkward pause and heads turning in so many directions waiting for a response, an angel spoke up. The occupational therapist spoke up and said having been in the classroom observing Jayen, she agrees that his current environment is unsafe for him. I was blown away. I couldn't believe someone was on my side. Someone else felt the same way as I. After getting daily reports of Jayen's behavior affecting his ability to learn in the classroom and his peer relationships I still needed an answer. We left the meeting being told that Ms. Miller, the lead special education teacher would be with him for his entire day until a replacement was hired/found. We were hopeful and trusted their word. We just want what is best for Jayen. I hope they all understand that!

Enger Shenanigans

Matt used to work with these two guys, Enger and Day, who would come over to have a lot of fun when drinking! Ok, all the time. One night when they were at our house in Bellevue the three boys invented "backyard Olympics." I can't remember all the games but I know one included their steel toed boots hanging upside down from the swingset and another was holding onto the swing and flipping over to see who could wrap their arms up the most. Oh how I miss those immature days!!! Well, Enger has been stationed in Arizona for a few years now and couldn't wait to welcome us. And of course, it didn't take long for him to start the shenanigans. Jayen couldn't stop laughing at him. The giggles and smiles that came out of him were amazing. I was worried how much our lives have changed since Enger left and whether our life was too much for him. He was so amazing with the kids. I'm glad to be stationed with him again!

 

 



My BCFF came to see ME!

She was one of the reasons that helped make this move a little easier; my best cousin and friend forever! Although we see each other probably once a year, she will always be one of my best friends. I think we were born that way! Kristin lives in Las Vegas, which is only a five hour drive from me now, but had a previously scheduled trip to Phoenix and decided to add a day to her trip to spend with me. I kind of left Matt to handle everything while I soaked up my time with her. Lunch, drinks and catching up made life a little easier to handle. I can't wait to spend more day with her!

 

Brilyn snuggling with Kristin!

 

 

The kids were going a little crazy so we headed to the park. So hard to believe they are still getting snow back home and we are here in shorts playing football outside.