What a scare!

This morning Jayen woke up and made his way into our room. Matt heard him come in, which is a miracle in itself, and got out of bed to intercept him. They ran into each other and Matt hit Jayen's head. Jayen fell backwards, Matt caught him, then he went limp. My heart fell to the ground. I could see Matt's reaction and in my head thought the same thing as he. We were so scared this was Jayen having a seizure. I started screaming NO, NO, NO! We've been doing so good. Keep those damn things away. Jayen has been seizure free since November 2014. He's grown so much in that time. He is making so many gains. We don't have the support here that we had in Nebraska to go through all of this again. After putting him on the bed we were able to assess that he was still tired and just sad that he hit his head. NO SEIZURE! Matt and I couldn't get over what we thought just happened. My heart still hasn't gotten back in beat.
This is going to be a lifelong struggle for us. Every day we still worry that Jayen is going to wake up and have another seizure. Every day we worry wherever he goes that he could have one when we are not there. There is never a day we don't worry! There is never a day we think Jayen will be forever seizure free.

Sleeping like dad

With his new SPIO suit, Jayen gets hot and sweaty quickly. Today he went to lay down for a nap and wanted the suit off. I agreed, but wasn't prepared for what was coming next. After the suit was off he requested not to have his clothes put back on. He kept saying dad, then crawled in bed wearing only his underwear. I finally understood that he wanted to sleep like dad and wear only his underwear.

 

 

Oh boy! Like father like son.

Therapy and memories

Not too often do I get to actually see what Jayen is doing at therapy. I made the choice a long time ago that Jayen just doesn't work the same when I'm around, so I excuse myself from his therapy sessions. Today the door was left open after the last person went though and I was able to get a sneak peek. Jayen was working on his galloping. I can see why we are still working on this goal! But keep up the great work buddy!

 

 

After therapy and a quick nap, Jayen was rummaging through his closet and found one of his bandanas. When he brought it to me to put on his head I felt a sense of sadness. So much of me wanted to tell him to put it back and not touch them. So much of me wanted to hide those memories in a box and not let them escape. However, a little part of me (the part that won) realized this was his life too and a huge part of it. I want his memories to be fun and exciting. Even though the reason we bought those bandanas to begin with isn't a fun and exciting moment, when he wore them it made the moment slightly more fun and exciting. I want them to be something that he can pull out of his closet and see them as fun and exciting and not have the same sadness I felt. For that moment, I tied the back and started playing pirates. These bandanas now have a new memory!

Who's ready for homework again?

Back to school means back to homework! Dalan was working on homework after school but apparently this made Jayen very jealous. He begged for paper and pencil even took my hand and directed me where to find his supplies. I let him color by himself for a couple minutes while helping Dalan then was able to write his name in highlighter. To my amazement he did a nearly perfect job. Way to go Jayen!

 

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After homework we quickly started dinner and got ready for a super special surprise. I was able to score seats in a private box for a WNBA game tonight. It's a school night, but I'm hoping the game gets over at a decent time or we can leave a little early. I love the family time we get together when we are able to go to these events. Besides, when else would we be able to see a WNBA game?

Where did the time go?

Today is the first day of school for my little baby. She made it into school without any tears, sat down in her chair and started playing with the other kids. Mommy on the other hand helped her get into her chair and saw her playing with the other kids and was filled with joy and sadness. I got out of the house and into the car before any tears started rolling. My baby girl didn't get upset when I left. She was ready to start her day without me. She didn't need me anymore. But I still need her.

 

 

My mom reminded me of a book we bought last year; If I could keep you little.

 

"If I Could Keep You Little"

Written and Illustrated by: Marianne Richmond

If I could keep you little,
I'd hum you lullabies.
But then I'd miss you singing
your concert's big surprise.

If I could keep you little,
I'd hold your hand everywhere.
But then I'd miss you knowing,
"I can go... you stay there."

If I could keep you little,
I'd kiss your cuts and scrapes.
But then I'd miss you
learning from your own mistakes.

If I could keep you little,
I'd strap you in real tight.
But then I'd miss you swinging
from your treetop height.

If I could keep you little,
I'd decide on matching clothes.
But then I'd miss you choosing
dots on top and stripes below.

If I could keep you little,
I'd cut your bread into shapes.
But then I'd miss you finding,
"Hey! I like ketchup with my grapes!"

If I could keep you little,
I'd tell you stories every night.
But then I'd miss you reading
the words you've learned by sight.

If I could keep you little,
I'd push you anywhere.
But then I'd miss you feeling
your speed from here to there!

If I could keep you little,
I'd pick for you a friend or two.
But then I'd miss you finding
friends you like who like you too!

If I could keep you little,
we'd finger-paint our art.
But then I'd miss you creating
stories from you heart.

If I could keep you little,
I'd push your ducky float.
But then I'd miss you feeling
the wind behind summer's boat.

If I could keep you little,
we'd nap in our fort midday.
But then I'd miss you sharing
adventures from camp away.

If I could keep you little,
I'd fly you with my feet.
But then I'd miss you seeing
sky and clouds from your seat.

If I could keep you little,
I'd keep you close to me.
But then I'd miss you growing
into who you're meant to be!

 

I know I can't keep her little forever, but I wish this day wouldn't have happened already. I know you will grow to be something amazing Brilyn Nicole, but I just wish you could be my baby for a little longer. 

My first Haboob!

I've heard of these things but I have never seen or experienced one. The clouds were looking a little ominous this morning when dropping the kids off at school. As usual, we dropped of Dalan at his school then Jayen at his and finished with Brilyn. Only a short hour later its time to pick up Jayen. The clouds were getting incredibly close and approaching my direction. Within minutes I couldn't see anything. I was in the middle of a dust storm, only in Arizona they are called Haboobs. I literally couldn't see the sign that was less than five feet in front of the car. I was worried I wasn't going to be able to get to Jayen from school. Thankfully these things only last a few minutes.

 

The tooth fairy has to make her first visit!

Daddy tried last night but just couldn't get it, so mommy took charge tonight. The only tool I asked for was a small washcloth. Dalan was so funny! He was excited it was finally out but then realized it was bleeding and he had a hole there now. He didn't want to look silly. He wanted it back in. He practiced smiling in the mirror without showing his missing tooth. After writing his note to the tooth fairy, he placed his tooth under the pillow and went to sleep. Now I pray the tooth fairy shows up!

 

First Day of School 2015

How did they get this old? I can't believe I have a second grader and a kindergartner. Dalan will going to Sonoran Heights again, but Jayen will be attending Rancho Gabriela. I still cry every day thinking about what we gave up in Nebraska. The kids had the most wonderful school. Jayen would be going full day, but due to budget cuts he is only going half day ( 2 hours and 45 minutes). I continue to pray that this move will not be a detriment to their education. The first five years of their education is so important and I'm here in a place that rates so poorly in education. I will continue to keep my eye on things.

 

 

After picking up Jayen from school I took Jayen and Brilyn to the mall to run some errands. We stopped for lunch and I was able to convince them to get noodles. Oh boy did they have the best time eating noodles. They were slurping those things up like someone was going to steal them. I loved the mommy time with them. Missing Dalan lots, but enjoying only having two.

 

Dalan has been working on this wiggly tooth for over a month now. He finally agreed to let dad try to get it out. He tried his fingers, then a paper towel, then a pliers. After all that work they still couldn't get it. The tooth will stay in for another day, but tomorrow is mommy's turn and it is coming out!

 

Last night of summer

I signed us up for a summer bowling event where you get coupons for two free games of bowling every day during the summer. This is the last night of summer and the first time we are actually using it. The bowling alley that participated was a long ways from our house. Our family loves bowling and I'm so thankful for this night before the boys start back at school.

 

rough night? on the road

This is how I found everyone this morning...must have been a rough night. I couldn't sleep, still on Arizona time I guess, so I woke up and went down for breakfast before everyone else. Allissa must have heard me because she came and joined me not much after. It was a very late but super special night. I still can't get over how great my family looked. I'm so proud to have a new sister-in-law too!

 

 

Once everyone woke, we ate, packed, and swam our hearts out until it was time to say goodbye again. I can't keep doing this. It tears my heart out every time. Marcus and Heather stopped by the hotel to pick up Issac, so we were able to say goodbye to them too. I just want to pack them all up and bring them with us.

Apparently they all thought I was being literal. I don't have enough room in the car unless they ride on the top.

 

Papa is one of Jayen's favorite people ever (might have something to do with his big truck). They have a such a connection. Papa bought Jayen a camo hat with a deer that said, "Lookin' for Trouble". Couldn't have been any more appropriate. But in Jayen fashion, he wasn't used to it and didn't want it right away. He wasn't ready to give up his hat he had been wearing. This new hat felt different and set him off immediately. I know he liked it, and I know he will wear is constantly once he is used to it. I feel bad for my dad. I know he wanted Jayen to love it. I hope Jayen's reaction didn't hurt his feelings. He loves you PAPA and he loves the hat, I promise!

 

Here comes our new Aunt!

 Today's the day!!!! Today we get a new sister-in-law, aunt, and friend! Today Uncle Marcus finally gets married! Daddy had to run some errands to get things to put on Uncle Marcus' truck so he dropped us off at Heather's hotel to get prettied up! Brilyn loved being there with her new friend and getting ready with the "princess"! When their hair was done, the girls tested it out by jumping on the bed. After hundreds of bobby pins and a whole can of hairspray she was ready!

 

 

Matt came back to the hotel room to pick us up so Brilyn could get a nap and something to eat. A quick bite to eat and an even quicker nap and it was time to be at the wedding for pictures. I cried as soon as I saw Jayen in his tuxedo. My little boy looked like such a little man. He was too grown up! My hubby didn't look too bad either. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him! My family looked so amazing. I'm so excited to be here to witness this marriage, but I'm also excited to have my family looking this amazing.

Dalan and his Godfather.

OMG this boy melts my heart.

My favorite men! Don't they look great!

Our family picture. Thanks Allissa for being there for us. We couldn't have done it without you.

No matter how much we practiced, that pillow wasn't going to sit in both hands!

Here comes the Bride! The girls did great.

 

His big moment! He was no nervous and messed up the words, but still did great.

It's in both hands at least!

The entire Hochstein family

After the wedding, Allissa took my car and Dalan to the reception site while the rest of us travelled on the party bus. I think this was the highlight of the day for both Jayen and Brilyn. Brilyn was shaking her little booty to the music, Jayen was being a baller in the back with both arms up on the seat. He loved being on the bus!

At the reception, the kids ate then were ready to dance their socks off. We even got dad on the dance floor for most of the night. I was able to dance with my Godson Ryot until Jayen got jealous and cut in.

What a super special day this has been. I really don't want it to end. Before we can go, we have one thing to settle...

The Belly Roll Competition

 

At Dalan and Hunter's birthday party, Marcus and Adam taught the kids to roll their bellies. We teased that we were going to have a competition at the wedding. Now was their chance. Dalan was too nervous, so Matt got up there and just showed off his six pack "keg". The crowd was able to vote and the winner was Hunter! He was all smiles and was on cloud nine when they lifted him up on their shoulders.

 



 

This was truly a magical day. Thank you Marcus and Heather for allowing us to be part of your special day. We wish the best for a lifetime of happiness!